The Jiz Jazz!

In my entry on Friday, I mentioned the special blend coffee the Bay View B&B on Mackinac Island serves. First, I want to state for the record that I don't generally like "flavored" coffees. IMHO, they can smell (and taste!) too perfume-y. I like my coffee flavor to be a result of the quality of the beans, the roasting technique and in the grind and brewing. What I loved about the B&B blend was the fact that the additional flavors didn't overpower the coffee. An "informed source" confided that their coffee is a top-secret combination of six different flavored beans but staunchly refused to "spill the beans" beyond that.

Two years ago, with very little to go on except my memory of their coffee to inspire me, I set about the trial and error process of blending beans over and over in an effort to try and capture the essence of their brew. This wasn't as hard as it sounds. Millstone Coffee Company (available at Wal-Mart) offers a variety of whole beans in dispensers that allow you to pour as many (or as few) beans as you want into your bag. The real trick was selecting the actual varieties and getting the proportions right. Ultimately, my version ended up with a combination of 5 beans.



Over time, I refined the proportions until I finally arrived at an aggregate that strikes the right balance. Although my special recipe may no longer replicate the original B&B blend, it's pretty darn good. I call my awesome custom brew "The Jiz Jazz," and I think it's particularly suited to serve mid-day.

Try it for yourself!

The Jiz Jazz!

In a one-pound bag add:

5 oz. Colombian Supremo
5 oz. French Roast
2 oz. Hazelnut Creme
2 oz. Chocolate Velvet
2 oz. French Vanilla

I prefer to grind my beans "by the pot" at home. The grinders at the store often contain beans left behind by the previous customer and may add a flavor you're not wild about. The measures I provide here are approximate. Don't be afraid to do a little trial and error experimentation for yourself. It's kinda fun, and then you can name your own brew too!

— Gee Vee

Update: After this post was originally published, it was brought to my attention that the name of my incredible coffee may have a certain crude connotation and have made appropriate edits where necessary. Please refer to the comments for further explanation. — G V

Phantasm

Have you ever been jarred awake by your alarm and so grateful for its intervention you could cry? The sheets tangled around your legs are soaked in sweat, and your heart is pounding from the nightmare you've left behind. You frantically struggle to free yourself from the bedding and the dark place that has already begun to play back scenes in your mind. At that moment, the dream is still more real than your own room. While part of you just wants to let it all go as quickly as possible, you can't help but sift through the mental wreckage, to try to dispel the horror and make some sense of the pathos.

Through the ages, I suppose we've all experienced that. It's probably why kings relied so heavily on their mages or the court astrologer to help define the underlying symbolism... why psychiatrists still make a fortune analyzing the meaning of dreams. If we could only make sense of such disturbing imagery, surely we could we could gain an advantage in the real world. Dreams that vivid, that shattering, must have some purpose, some message to impart.

I just woke from one of those dreams. It hosted a cast of unfamiliar faces and a set of complex dark places. There was a wholesale slaughter of innocent people and a legion of demonic forces that seemed intent on massacre on an apocalyptic scale. I knew I was going to die, that everyone I love was going to die. It was just a matter of time. The dream had control, and I was just along for the ride— absolutely helpless to alter its course or outcome.

Then I was saved by the bell. I've rarely been so happy to hear my alarm go off.

I stumbled to the coffee pot feeling like I was still under the influence of some mind-altering hallucinogen. Rational thought began to gain an upper hand as I slumped against the kitchen counter and sipped my coffee. Remember that scene in "A Christmas Carol" where Ebeneezer Scrooge has just returned from his encounter with the Ghost of Christmas Past? He struggled to make sense of it all, finally determined it must have been something he ate. I wondered the same thing this morning.

Did I drink an unfamiliar brand of tea before bed?

What in God's name did I do differently last night?

There must be a chemical explanation for such aggressive synapses....

I'll never know, but I'll always wonder why a perfectly normal brain would suddenly decide to create an epic tale of Armageddon when it could be sleeping.

— Gee Vee

With friends like that...

So... what do you do when you leave home on a vacation, only to find that while you were gone your best friend moved all your upstairs furniture downstairs and all your downstairs furniture upstairs?

You don't get mad.

You get even! Mmmmwaaahahahaha!



(Sorry, Jamie, more frat-boy humor.)

— Gee Vee

Grapes of Wrath

I only have two words to say about last night's after-hours shenanigans:

"Wine tasting. Work this morning."

Okay, that's five, but who's counting? BTW, you know how you always see the wine snobs take a sip of their wine and then spit it out? WELL, THAT'S A BIG FAT LIE! (I think I'll go be sick now.)

TTYL... I hope.

— Gee Vee

Sunrise Earth— Mackinac Island

Mike from Meandering Missives and Musings posted an entry that got me thinking about my favorite places in Michigan. I left a comment describing a tucked-away spot on Mackinac Island where I love to linger, far from the madding crowd.

Have you ever watched the Discovery HD Theater's Sunrise Earth series? They actually set about filming a sunrise from a different incredible location in each episode. The secret to its success is the fact that there is no narration or commercial interruptions to spoil the magic of the moment. The entire hour is spent—— just you and the view—— watching the sun come up.

I really think Discovery HD Theater needs to bring its cameras to Mackinac Island in June. They need to position one near the Yoder Dock and the marina (right behind the Bay View Bed and Breakfast), another on the stairway to East Bluff with a view overlooking the village, the steeple on St. Anne's and harbor... and maybe another on the loading docks where the horse-drawn drays will begin to gather to collect provisions for the Island.

There is nothing I can write here that will adequately describe the sights and sounds of the Island as it wakes: the horses clip-clopping along Main Street as they begin their work day; the rafts of ducks dabbling among the sailboats anchored to their mooring balls in the harbor; the raucous cry of a gull; a honey bee browsing among the lilac blossoms; the sound of a horn blast from the first ferry of the day as it arrives with its inevitable burden of tourists....

You know, it's too bad the cameras wouldn't be able to capture the incredible smell of Bay View Blend coffee brewing, the sweet scent of the lilac blossoms or the (even sweeter!) chocolate as candymakers prepare to shape the fudge cooling on their marble tables.

Mmmmm!

Yup, the cameras just don't know what they'd be missing!

— Gee Vee

What does your blog say about you?

I came across a link to a nifty little web site yesterday. The Typealyzer will analyze your blog and define and characterize the persona you show the world. Perhaps little more than a novelty or conversation piece (after all, it gave me something to write about today), it's still kinda fun to type in the names of your friends' blogs to see if you agree with its conclusions.

When I typed in the URL for Grandiose Verbosity, it characterized me as a "Doer." It also provided a little brain chart that illustrates which attributes I unwittingly reveal to the world.

Credit: Typealyzer

I was a little disappointed to see that I am completely lacking in imagination, I am not an idealist and express very few feelings whatsoever. I am very practical.

Wow! Do they know me or what? Heh!

In real life, I think I rely very heavily on my intuition and my spiritual nature— which is all sort of new-age and cosmic. Very '60s. But to be fair to this little analyzer, I rarely discuss spirituality or religion here. In fact, when I started this blog, I was determined to keep it less personal. Mission accomplished. ;)

So... what kind of blog are you?

— Gee Vee

I'm back— byte by byte!

My computer is home now and doing just fine. Thanks for asking.

Maybe because I'm particularly paranoid at the moment, I'd like to give you all a little heads-up. Apparently, there's a computer worm called Conficker C that has possibly infected 5 to 10 million machines world-wide. (See the CNN report here.) As best they can determine, the worm seems set to do something (they're not sure what) on April 1. Yeah, April Fool's Day— except they don't seem to be treating the threat as a joke. Microsoft has offered a $250,000 bounty in an effort to find the code's author and a way to do damage control.

Needless to say, I'll meticulously back up any files near and dear to my heart just in case.

In other computer-related news: After watching a TV show about Google Earth a year ago, a teenager painted a 60ft long phallus on the roof of his parents' home in England. The teen's drawing went undetected until spotted by a helicopter pilot who reported it to The Sun newspaper. At first "Dad and Mum" were a little skeptical, thinking the call from the paper was an early April Fool's prank. Finally, after cross-examining their four children, their son, Rory, replied, "Oh, you've found it then?"

Good one!

I considered snatching the photo of big penis on their roof and posting it here, but I am always considerate of Jes' sensibilities. (She's so impressionable, you know!) However, you can see it for yourself, here.

The article didn't say whether the young man's... [ahem!]... artwork was captured by the eye in the sky for Google Earth.

— Gee Vee

Family Traditions

Just as I feared, the pc doc can't begin to work on my machine until Monday. Thank goodness for my smartphone. It may be small, but it's mighty. I've read the news this morning (at least most of it) and still have time to write a few words here.

Dan and I spent the day at Mom's yesterday. We had errands to run most of the day, including a stop at the pc doc, new tires for the car, haircuts for Dan and myself, a car wash and the requisite trip to Wal-Mart. (We were almost out of Earl Grey!) Then we stayed for dinner. A pretty full day.

Before we left, Mom gave me a houseplant-- not just any houseplant, a shamrock. This particular specimen is nearly dead after a year of neglect in my father's workshop. Mom has several others in the house that are much healthier, but she thought I might be interested in trying to save my father's, I guess.

The thing about this shamrock is the fact that it is descended from a plant handed down over these many years from my great-grandmother's family. The shamrocks grow from bulbs that can be separated to start a new plant. So, I suppose my shamrock is over 100 years old and a living family heirloom.

I look forward to trying to save my father's personal plant. Then I'll pass along a new start to Jamie. The tradition goes on....

-- Gee Vee

Woe is me...

Well, it's going to be one of those days. My computer is having some serious issues, boys and girls. I'll have to see if the pc doc can fit me into his schedule today; otherwise, it may be some time next week before I'll be posting with any regularity.

Right now, I'm texting this entry from the tiny keyboard on my cell phone. I've no idea how crazy the format will turn out. I did attach the picture currently on my cell phone wallpaper. The flowers remind me that today is the first day of spring... the one bright spot of my day.

So, wish me luck with the machine. I'll (hopefully) be back soon.

-- Gee Vee

Channel Surfing

SHHHHH! Just hush up and listen!




There now, that didn't hurt a bit, did it? :)

— Gee Vee

How to Pour the Perfect Pint of Guinness

Credit: Telegraph.co.uk

— Gee Vee

Goin' Green

Today I'm feelin' a wee bit o' me Irish up and happy St. Paddy's Day t'ya!

Dan and I actually cooked our traditional corned beef and cabbage feast for Sunday dinner, but I thought I'd share this CapeCast video just in case you'd like a refresher course on the HOW-TOs.



Looks good, doesn't it? I would only disagree with throwing the potatoes into the pot at the same time as the cabbage. The potatoes will cook much faster and will be mush by the time your cabbage is tender. I suggest that you wait until the cabbage is nearly done before adding your potatoes.

Now, for dessert...

YUMMMMMM!

— Gee Vee

Discussing the Divine Comedy with Dante

This incredible painting featuring 103 famous faces from world history has become an Internet sensation.

Click on the image to view a larger (2600 pixels wide) version

I thought you might have fun counting how many you can recognize.

Enjoy!

— Gee Vee

Chloe Comes Home

Mom arrives at home with her new puppy, Chloe.

Chloe's Homecoming


— Gee Vee

Mom's Big Day

A small link to an article on CNN's website caught my eye this morning.

"Parenting techniques to try on your spouse."

This, I HAD to read!

I'm glad I did. What a pleasant break from the usual doom, gloom and despair the news agencies generally share with their readers. The article actually reminded me a little of the "HM 101 Husband Management" lecture series I used to write for Aunt Robin's. A little tongue-in-cheek, I bet the author had a blast trying out her parenting tips and tricks on her husband.

Speaking of husbands, Dan just left the house to go pick up Mom and my aunt. They're driving downstate this morning to pick up the new puppy. The past year has been hard on Mom. With Dad's passing and coping with some health issues of her own, it's been a long time since I've seen her look forward to something so much. I think little Chloe will be the best medicine in the world. I wish I could be there to see her hold her for the first time, but some people have to actually work for a living. (Can you tell I'm pouting, here?)

Anyway, I'll take Maisy and go over to Mom's after work to stay with her dog, Misty. It would be a long day stuck in the house without a trip outside to do her business, otherwise. From past experience, I already know Misty will spend the day laying where she has a view of the door, sulking until my mother comes back home. No amount of coaxing or cajoling will ease her separation anxiety.

Well, time to make the donuts. I'll try to share some pictures of Mom's new baby tomorrow.

TTYL

— Gee Vee

Browsing Blunders

About six months ago, there was quite a debate on a friend's blog about web browsers. At the time, I wondered what all the fuss was about. I'd been using Internet Explorer since 1998 or '99. Prior to that, I had used Netscape Navigator, although I can't really remember what prompted me to switch.

Before the blogger's debate over web browsers, I never gave the software a lot of thought. I just clicked on the big blue "E" and surfed through my bookmarks. Lately, however, I've been frustrated and infuriated by the number of times Internet Explorer would crash, particularly when I open my gmail account. To be honest, I kinda figured Google had deliberately written some script into their web-based email service designed to sabotage and anger IE users to point that they would download the new Google Chrome browser they had developed.

If that was their plan, it worked for me. After repeatedly and endlessly reopening my Internet Explorer web browser because of crashes, I recalled all the people who complained about it on my friend's blog. I decided it was time to live dangerously. I downloaded Google Chrome, determined to give it a try. I spent two or three days taking it for a "test drive" which also involved acquainting Dan with its various features.

I must say, I was (initially) very impressed. I only had two major complaints with Google Chrome. Whenever you open a new tab, it offers actual screen shots of your most popularly viewed web sites in order to expedite navigation to these sites. These screen shots included the inside of my online banking and email accounts. There is no way to disable this feature. The real deal-breaker was the fact that many web pages were hard to read, particularly CNN. The fonts seemed fuzzy or blurred. I tried adjusting the size of the fonts, but that just scrambled the layout of the site.

Rather than simply go back to IE, I decided to try Firefox 3.

Well, now I understand what all the fuss was about. Firefox 3 is an absolutely amazing web browser! I love the way I'm able to organize my bookmarks, especially the fact that I can insert little dividers between groups of bookmarks. For instance, all of Dan's newspapers are easily located in one grouping. My bank, email and other favorite sites are in another grouping. A third group contains sites we both frequent. All the miscellaneous oddballs and oddities are below those. I've organized the bookmark tool bar with our most popular sites for convenient one-click navigating.

To be fair, I probably could have done some of this with IE but never took the time. However, the fact remains, I could do all this, and my Firefox web browser has not crashed one time— not once!

When I think about how many years I spent just "dealing" with Internet Explorer's eccentricities rather than dumping it like a hot potato, I could kick myself. I know they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but they're wrong.

It just takes longer.

— Gee Vee

How to Clean Leather Upholstery

— Gee Vee

Signs of Spring

Our Sunday Drive


— Gee Vee

Dan's "AHA!" Moment

An astonishing thing happened yesterday... well, actually, two.

First, I came home from work and was nearly bowled over by the fact that Dan had swept, vacuumed and mopped his way around the entire downstairs. The floors looked beautiful! We've been married almost 27 years, and he's never mopped a floor. Unfortunately, he'd just finished because I would have paid good money to see it with my own two eyes! He'd even given the wood floors a Murphy Oil Soap shine. Honestly, you could have knocked me over with a feather, I was so amazed.

Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I haven't inspected all the little nooks and crannies for some bit he might have missed. I'm just basking in pleasure I feel having had his help with a little of the housework.

Then last night we went out for dinner with friends. When we arrived home and walked into the mud room from the garage, I crossed the room to put my purse down on the laundry hamper while I took off my coat.

"Aaaackkkkk!" came the small strangled cry from behind me.

"What?"

"Couldn't you take your boots off first?" Dan glared at me, accusingly.

I glanced down at my shoes and realized they were standing right on "his" beautiful clean floor. Honestly, I  could only stare at him, my mouth gaping in astonishment  After more than two decades spent tracking across my clean floors, I think Dan had just experienced an epiphany of the first order of magnitude.

And after all the years I've spent nagging, I FINALLY feel vindicated.  :-)

— Gee Vee

Someone's up to no good at all!

Perhaps you've seen this notorious video on the news? It was banned from the Super Bowl commercial lineup this year in every state except Texas.



Then Dan and I saw this commercial on TV the other night and thought it was a gag— you know, like a skit from SNL.



Okay, people, I confess I'm not easily shocked, but these commercials do cause me to lift an eyebrow and kinda wonder, "What's with that?" I mean, do we really need help from an online dating service to get into mischief? Take the first video, for instance. She didn't need AshleyMadison.com to find the handsome man across the dining room— even in their own commercial! And whatever happened to hookin' up in chat rooms, anyway? Or is that option too 90s?

Also, there are plenty of sugar daddies out there if you know where to look. C'mon ladies! Obviously, the old man bar on the edge of town that's running a 2-for-1 special on Schlitz would be a long-shot. Think about it.

My real concern here is, how do I convince Dan that the browsing history on this computer is loaded with links to ashleymadison and sugardaddies because I was trying to find these commercials to blog about?

(And that's my story, and I'm stickin' to it!)

;)

— Gee Vee

Diabolically Clever!

Like most households, we subscribe to a few magazines. Over the past few months, however, I've become a bit ruthless, allowing subscriptions to lapse for magazines we never find enough hours in a day to read or even spare a glance. Predictably, our mail box has been crammed with pleas from frantic publishers to renew.

When the last issue of each magazine finally does arrive, it's covered in a tear-away binding that practically shouts, "THIS IS YOUR LAST ISSUE! RENEW NOW!" There is a perforated postcard conveniently attached that I can simply drop in the mail. (Or not!)

This is a standard operating procedure that must get results by preying on the indecisive. What is new, is the fact that we're now receiving magazines that we've never ordered (or even heard of) wrapped in the dire and dramatic "THIS IS YOUR LAST ISSUE! RENEW NOW!" binding. I guess the publishers are willing to gamble their cost for that single issue on the odds that even if I'm actually smart enough to realize we've never subscribed to their magazine, I might be so impressed with the publication— that I've now had an opportunity to sample— I'll send the "renewal" card.

While I'm still not buying it, my hat's off to the mastermind behind this diabolically clever marketing strategy. GENIUS!

— Gee Vee

SMILE! You're on Candid Camera!

I've a ton of things to get done today but thought I'd take a minute to share this video I happened to find on Telegraph.



According to the article, this dramatic footage was captured on February 25 in the Mediterranean port city of Mersin. Apparently, the Turkish man who was swept under the flatbed container truck escaped with only minor injuries. Amazing! He says "Life is very beautiful!" and has declared February 25 his new birthday.

Happy belated-birthday, Mr. Tokac!

You know, it almost seems even more miraculous that security cameras happened to catch the whole darn thing— from two different perspectives.

They're watching us, I tell ya! [looks around suspiciously...]

— Gee Vee

THEN AND NOW

Some things never change. Some do.

This photo was taken of Dan and his dog, Bowser, in February, 1959— fifty years ago. Dan was 5 years old at the time.



I took this photo of Dan and Maisy on the very same stretch of road last weekend— fifty years later.



He got taller, and his dog got smaller. :)

— Gee Vee

There's A Baby On The Way!

What's better than getting a new puppy?

Having your mom get a new puppy! Yea!!!!!!!!!

Mom has always wanted a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, and this week we finally convinced her to take the plunge. We only had to promise to never, EVER, tell my brother what she paid for it. I guess she's worried he'll have a stroke or something. In fact, the puppy was so expensive, Mom agonized over the decision.

I argued that she has worked hard all her life, rarely splurging on herself— that she should treat herself for once and don't worry about the price tag. Besides, I reasoned, she could up and croak tomorrow and when we inherit her bank account, we're just going to SPEND IT!

(Heh. I'm so bad!)

She sent the deposit for the puppy the very next day. Dan is going to drive her down to breeder's home in Dearborn Heights a week from Saturday to pick up her new baby. I'm so excited for her. Even better, I've never seen her so excited. Today Mom and I drove to a nice pet store in Petoskey to shop for the special dog food it'll need and a couple toys for the puppy to play with.

We've all been trying to help her pick out a name for the puppy, so without further ado, I'd like to introduce "Chloe."

Chloe

I'll try to post a video of little Chloe after she arrives. So stay tuned!

— Gee Vee

End Of An Era

Two of radio broadcasting's conservative icons are in the news this morning.

Rush Limbaugh has been all over the headlines since he delivered the keynote speech at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) on Saturday, and a nation is grieving with the news that legendary broadcaster, Paul Harvey, famous for his unique delivery-style and his "The Rest of the Story" anecdotes, has passed away at the age of 90.

The antipodal disparity between their respective styles couldn't be more striking. I loved and admired Paul Harvey. Perhaps if more conservatives were willing to emulated his inspirational message, his desire to connect with ALL Americans, rather than alienating so many Americans with angry rebuttals, threats and promises of retribution, the Republican Party, traditional stronghold of conservatism, wouldn't be struggling to get its act together.

Paul HarveyYou Will Be Missed

— Gee Vee